xXtoopid-moiiXx

2006-11-26T21:04:00.000-08:00

iishhx breakinqqx up the only way outtx? haiisshxx.. ii am hurttx oncee againss! whiee mustt euu alwayss do this to moii..? if ii can predictt the futuree, ii wouldd ratherr we stay as friends ratherr thann have thiss kinda endinqqx! ~~FUCK LAH~~

have been realliee stress recently.. quarellinqqx withh moi parentss almosttx everydaee! whiee cantt euu peoplee justt leavee moii alonee..? ii am already 17! ii am no longerr a small kidd lerr! ii got moii own thinkinqqx! lett moii do all the decisionss canss? haiisshxx.. iif ii am goinqqx tuhhx go iin this statee.. ii will realliee breakk downn onee day! andd ii really hope the daee will be TODAY as ii really cannot take iit lerr! lett moii go tuhhx a placee where ii can findd moi truee happiness ba.. ii realliee need a breakk! G0D! PLEASE GRANT MOII THIS WISH!

have been tearinqqx tuhhx bed every nighttx.. haiisshxx.. whatt shouldd ii do now..? smoke? drink? or go back tuhhx moii olden days life? can anyonee tell moii whattx tuhhx do..? ='( *confused*

loovee iishx like a war;
easy tuhhx starttx;
hardd tuhhx endd;
impossiblee tuhhx forgett!

2006-11-05T23:45:00.000-08:00

nothinqqx muchh happenedd iin this week.. everydaee ii am justtx busy goinqqx tuhhx school, shoppinqqx and withh moii workk.. thatss how moii lifee functionn! wahahahahas~ lifee wenttx onn as per normal till fridaee nighttx.. on thatt very nighttx.. ii starttedd tuhhx have somee argumentts withh dearr.. thenn.. ii ignoredd hiss smses, calls, etc! whilee doinqqx thattx, iit hurtts moii loadds sehh! whiee musttx moii loovee story alwayss endd this way? why canttx iit justtx lastt till the day whenn we walkk iinto the churchh togetherr..? ='( ii waitted ferr euu tuhhx comee outtx.. andd thiss iishhx wad ii gettx..? where iishhx moii oldd dear..? thee onee thatt loovee moii wholeheartedly.. haiisshxx.. now.. ii truly believee wadd moii brotherss andd sisterrs havee toldd moii..!

boii.. havee euu thoughttx of the consequencess beforee euu do thosse thinqqx tuhhx moii..? do euu know how disappointtedd am ii..? wheneverr ii thosee picturess thatt we have takeen togetherr.. tearss will justx floww downn moii cheekss continuously! ii know thattx euu are startinqqx tuhhx regrett now.. butt isntt iit too latee? ii havee forgivenn euu oncee already! and now.. AGAIN! from thiss.. ii can say thattx euu ar justt takinqqx thinqqx ferr grantedd! =x

now.. all ii wanna tell euu iishhx thattx.. ii still do loovee euu loadds! but thenn.. ii see no pointtx iin continuinqqx thiss relationship as ii feel that stayinqqx on withh someonee that doesntt treasuree euu realliee hurtx.. haiisshxx.. so.. moi final decisionn iishhx tuhhx leavee euu! thee only thinqqx ii wisshx ferr iishhx euu tuhxx bee happiee andd bee ablee tuhhx findd thee gerr euu truly loovee thatts all!

2006-10-28T07:38:00.000-07:00

iit has been a tirinqqx daee.. andd somehoww ii am startinqqx tuhhx feel sadd againss.. haiisshxx.. ii still do misshxx him loadds.. maybee iinfront of everyonee ii may saee thattx ii dontt misshxx him andd stuffs likee thattx.. buttx deep downn withinn moii.. ii still do loovee andd miisshxx euu silently! =( whiee iishxx moii loovee lifee soo saddeninqqx?

yesterdaee nighttx, he called moii.. he askedd moii iif ii still do have feelinqqx ferr him..? andd alsoo will ii continuee tuhhx waitt ferr him..? at thatt pointtx of timee.. ii realliee dunno how tuhhx reply him.. haiisshxx.. ii realliee misshxx thosee daess whenn we slackk at cinee.. =( whenn will thosee memorable dayss comee backk? whenn will moii brothers, sisterss and HIM comee outtx..? afterr puttinqqx down the phonee.. ii brokedownn.. nothinqqx can express moii feelinqqx at thatt pointtx of timee.. haiisshxx.. ii guess ii will be goinqqx tuhhx visitt him iin about 2 weeks time ba.. by thenn thenn ii givee him thosee answerss tuhhx his questionn ba.. =x

nortx realliee feelinqqx well todaee.. havinqqx headachee and slightt feverr.. arghs~ iits irritatinqqx! klicee darlinqqx iishhx gonna come over tuhhx moi housee andd stay tomorrow till tuesdaee worss! yays! at leasttx there iishx someonee tuhhx peii moii enjoy andd at the same time help moii forget about all those sadd sadd stuffs..

ii loovee euu..
andd ii am willinqqx..
tuhx waitt ferr euu..
till thee endd of timee!

2006-10-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

ii misshxx moii dearrdearr lerr! ii juz leavee herr for a few hourss niaa leiss..! =( school iishx gettinqqx moree and moree meaninqqful lerr! coss gottx moii dearrdearr mahss... shee iishx simply soo sweetx nehss.. wahahahas~ today's lessonn iishhx a recap of whateverr ii have learntt iin secondary school.. at firsttx iit iishx tediouss.. butt.. afterr thatt.. withh the help from leonardd, we finishedd everythinqqx iin 5 minss! iits so complicatedd andd yett so easy! thanks leonardd andd dearrdearr wors.. xp RJ ferr todayy iishhx soo weirdd lorr.. haiisshxx.. ii wonderr whatt am ii gonna writee siahhss.. =( got tuhhx go and write moi RJ ler..! updatee tomorroww bass!

ps. ii am lookinqqx forwardd tuhhx sundayy! yayss.. someonee's gonna stay overnighttx iin moii housee! =)

2006-10-11T23:15:00.000-07:00

iits bloqinqqx timee againss.. weets~ now lett moii tell euu wad happenn ferr the pastt few daess..

satt andd sundaee
basically.. ii am busyy workinqqx on this two daess.. on sunday, jue dui superstarr heldd theirr activity iin suntec city! thee contestantss are soo damnn proo canss! arghss~ =) hmms.. butt.. thiss activity made moii lifee moree tirinqqx as thatt also meanss moree peoplee will comee iinto moii shopp to purchasee thinqqx..! futhermoree.. moii darlinqqx iishhx workinqqx iin taka! arghs~ thatt damnn schedule planner larr.. purposely wanna seperatee uss! haiisshxx.. =X buttx.. there iishhx still a chancee ferr moii tuhhx meet her! tee hees~ at nightt, darlinqqx camee overr tuhhx suntecc andd brinqqx moii homee.. so sweet righttx? xP harhars..

mondaee
iits moii firstt UT todaee.. wahahahas~ wokee up earliee iin the morninqqx andd wass very excitedd as ii haven studiedd ferr moii UT! =( actually, ii toldd moiiselff thatt ii wanna do well ferr thiss semesterr.. butt.. oncee ii reachh homee from workk.. ii am too tiredd tuhhx evenn on moii lappy sehh.. ='( howw tuhhx do well sehh..? doess thiss meann thatt moii dreamm iishhx gonna be gonnee..? ii still wanna go overseass and studee! ii dunn caree! ii wanna go americaa andd studee! =X afterr school.. wentt swensens ferr dinnerr.. againss withh moii dearestt buddiess (zhao lu and darlinqqx as xiao yin iishhx sickk).. yayss.. harhars.. afterr thatt, darlinqqx broughtt moi homee thenn shee go home lerr..

tuesdaee
todaee nothinqqx muchh happenedd.. gonna havee annual generall meetinqqx laterr.. hmms.. thattss gonna be lonqqx ii guess.. =X harhars.. buttx.. ii will be goinqqx as ii feel thatt ii havenn been goinqqx ferr a lonqqx timee lerr.. andd.. somethinqqx shouldd be donee lerr.. =/ thee meetinqqx endedd at aboutt 8.. darlinqqx camee overr from causeway pointt tuhhx brinqqx moi homee! yayss.. she even helpp moii buy moii friend's birthdaee presentt! thanks darlinqqx.. *muackss* >.<

wednesdaee
UT againss! =( moii class wentt ferr outinqqx.. butt.. ii canttx go.. hurhurs~ arghs~ thee only thinqqx thatt can be donee was tuhxx remainn iin class and do thee damnn scienceee ppt.. =/ overall.. today's lessonn was alrightt as we got a sciencee proo iin moii teamm! andd thee sciencee pro ishhx si qinqqx! weetx~ afterr schh.. wenttx tuhhx causewayy fer a moviee thenn gott tuhhx leavee lerr.. haiisshxx.. darlinqqx broughtt moii homee andd ii rann outt againss.. harhars~ ii camee backk at 4am againss! wahahahas~ ii loovee nightt lifeee... =P

thursdaee
today's problemm iishxx very complicatedd.. arghss! so confusee canss..! xiaoyinn iishhx gonna be moii jiu minqqx en renn lerr! wahahahas~ shee iishx foreverr soo cleverr deee! now.. goinqqx tuhhx meet moii darlinqqxx lerr.. afterr school, darlinqqx accompaniedd moii till abouttx 5.30 thenn ii wentt into the lecturee theatree ferr moii band's generall meethinqqx.. wee were askedd tuhhx elect ourr committee memberrs! weetx~ yayss.. thee next batchh of committee iisshxx definately gonna makee a differencee! ii believee iin them worss.. =) bandd endedd almostt at 9! so tiredd sehh.. haiisshxx..

quarelledd withh darlinqqx again! haiisshxx.. shee is alwayss promisinqqx moii thinqqx withouttx fulfillinqqx iit! ='( darlinqqx.. have euu thoughtt of moii feelinqqx..? do euu know how sadd and hurttx am ii..? euu saidd euu caree ferr moii! butt whiee ii cantt sensee iit..? euu seem tuhhx be carinqqx ferr otherrs moree thann moii! besidess thatt.. euu attitude moii ferr the whole of today! whats wronqqx with euu..? whatt have ii done tuhhx deservee thiss kinda treatmentt..? haiisshxx.. up tuhhx euu bas.. ii am jusstx simply heartbrokenedd and HURT! at thiss pointt of timee.. ii realliee hopee ii can sleep andd neverr wakee up againss! moii lfee iisshxx soo ~~fuckedd~~ up! haaisshxx..

god.. can euu pleasee takee moii tuhxx a placee where ii can findd happineess..? nothinqqx iin this worldd cann be trustedd! iif euu were tuhhx trustt thenn euu will surely gonna endd up gettinqqx hurtt likee moii! ='(

2006-10-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

oopssiee.. iits been a lonqqx timee sincee ii lasttx bloqqx.. =X euu know whiee..? causee recentlyy ii am buzy withh bothh moii school stuff, workk and shoppinqqx.. =P

ii am quitee fortunatee tuhhx havee gott iinto a good class.. thiss iishhx so as ii findd the peoplee here aree easy - goinqqx; fun lovinqqx and also quitee crazy at timess! =) ii loovee euu peepss loadds loadds worss.. harhars~

workinqqx iin that damn placee suxss.. haiisshxx.. sucky managerr.. sucky supervisorr.. who the hell euu all thinkk euu are sehh.. so whatt iif euu got a higher post? doess thatt meann euu cann do anythinqqx euu likee..? whateverr iit iishhxx.. euu guyss will regreat! ii will makee sure your boss know whatt the hell are euu all doinqqx beforee ii step out of thiss company! ii mean iit!

klicee andd ii are planninqqx tuhhx go andd look ferr otherr better lobanqqx lerr.. =) yayss~ klicee iisshxx moii dearriee.. wahahahas~ dunn makee moii jealouss lerr arr.. ahboo ii will ignoree euu ferr the restt of moii lifee derr horr.. *bleahs* mustt alwayss remembberr thatt euu onlyy havee moii as urr dearr arr.. tee hees~

sianss.. now got tuhhx go and workk lerr.. gonna see theirr ~~fuckinqqx~~ facee lerr! =/ tonighttx goinqqx tuhhx findd moii sisterss worrs.. yayss~ iits been a lonqqx timee sincee we lastt meetx up yas? realliee miisshxx euu guys loadds! sisterx ferr lifee!

2006-09-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

todaee.. ii wentt moviee withh klicee andd yi linqqx.. wee decidedd tuhhx watchh thee pulsee! the showw iishhx realliee eeriee.. =X soo scaryy sehh.. now ii shall movee oon by tellinqqx euu more aboutt thiss moviee.. onee outtx of a few younqqx adultss receivedd an e - maill sayinqqx tharttx itts goinqqx tuhhx be the endd of the worldd lerrs.. as the day goess by.. moree and moree peoplee starttx tuhhx receivee the e - maill and fell iinto deep depressionn! buttx.. supprisinqqly.. emily, ishhx the onliee oone thattx faileed tuhhx openn the e - mail! andd becausse of thatxx.. she triedd all wayss and meanss tuhhx protectt herr loovee oness fromm fallinqqx into deep depressionn! overall.. this show iishx quitee touchinqqx buttx.. iits scary toos! =/

afterr moviee.. we wenttx tuhhx fishhx and co tuhhx have ourr deleciouss lunchh cum dinnerr.. wahahahas~ klicee and ii hadd the new yorkk fishh and chipp while yi linqqx hadd herr sweetx and sourr fishh! ii hadd a lime drinkk too.. butt iitx iishhx alcoholicc worss.. =) yummieee..! afterr eatinqqx.. we proceed tuhhx marinaa squaree tuhhx findd jobb.. iit iishhx so horriblee lorr.. so many er xin pplee sehh.. eeyerr.. =X afterr thattx then we headd backk tuhhx suntecc andd walkk walkk beforee we go homee..

wenttx homee thenn hadd a lightt snackk thenn comee onlinee lerr.. now.. ii am planninqqx where tuhhx go ferr intervieww lerrs.. shall continuee blogginqqx tomorroww.. seeyass..! =)

2006-09-11T23:55:00.000-07:00

ii am HURT once agains! what the farkk! you saidd thattx euu will helpp moii forgett aboutt the pasttx andd thatt euu will loovee moii loadds loadds derr! but iin the endd? haiisshxx.. everythinqqx euu saidd was simply LIES / SWEET TALKS! ii saidd thattx ii am willinqqx tuhhx changee juzz ferr euu and yettx euu are doinqqx thiss tuhhx moii! nottx even lettinqqx moii know what the hell iishxx goinqqx oon! ='( do euu know how hurttx andd sadd am ii..? ii thinkk ferr the nextt few daes.. ii will juzz drinkk and smokee! ii thinkk thiss iishx the onlie way tuhhx findd moii happiness!! norttx gonna gett iinto thiss kinda farkinqqx illusionn animoree..!!

so mani thinqqx happenn recentlyy! whiee canttx ii juzz leadd a normall lifee? iishx GOD toturinqqx moii withh all thiss kinda treatmentt? haiisshxx.. ii realliee hopee ii cann sleep andd neverr wakee up agains! thatts ishhx realliee the timee ii cann findd moii truee happiness!

2006-08-31T00:30:00.000-07:00

ii am sadd oncee againss! so manii thinqqx happenedd.. =( *heartbrokenedd*

ii am realliee veryy disappointedd iin you! whiee are you doinqqx thiss tuhhx moii..? do you know iit hurtts? do you know how sad am ii..? todaee whenn ii see euu, tearss justt rolledd down moii cheeks andd yet ii got tuhhx pretendd nothinqqx happenedd as ii didntt wanttx tuhhx affectt anyonee.. wheneverr ii thinkk of thosee dayss iin semesterr 1, ii will justtx breakdownn! =( haiisshxx.. ii realliee thinkk thiss shouldd comee tuhhx an END! ii realliee cannot takee iit animoree! justt now, on moii way homee.. ii thoughtt of thiss againss.. andd ii startedd cryinqqx agains.. do you know thatt ii am greatly affectedd by thiss..?

ii have madee up moii mindd.. ii thinkk we shouldd justt keep thosee daess as memoriess.. ii am sowwiee.. buttx ii thinkk thatt ourr friendshipp iishxx norttx worthh keepinqqx animoree.. iit will only hurtt the bothh of uss.. so whiee nortxx lett iitx go..?

well maybe now i should just say goodbye
you used to be ~~my friend~~
but i never felt i was really ~~yours~~
so maybe this is the END.
i'm different from you, ALL of you
each other we've never ~~understood~~
i hope that if i do tell you goodbye
that it won't be for good.
whenever i'm mad it HURTS me so bad
and you don't even ~~care~~
i don't know why, i just want to cry
and someday i won't be there.
the streaks on my arms they've done me ~~no harm~~
they're are only made of pen
but once they are blood that turns brown like mud
they'll be there again and again.
if i'm mad at you i'll hurt myself too
but that doesn't really ~~matter~~
although when i hurts i feel like dirt
and my spirit's bruised and battered.
i do not know why it has to be so
i really wish it did not
but the way this has been goin
it is basically shot.
you don't need me and we dont need we
and that's how i think i know why
these words are the ones i havet speak -
i love you, but goodbye

2006-08-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

havenn been bloginqqx recently.. coss ii was kindaa busy withh moii workk and alsoo iin moii sociall lifee.. =P lifee iishhxx borinqqx.. nowadayss.. ii suddenly dontt feel likee workinqqx lerrr.. haiisshxx.. iit iishhx juzz soo damnn sianss canss.. go theree andd starree iintoo blanckk spacee nia.. =( ii wouldd ratherr go andd gett anotherr job thatt cann realliee "entertainn" moii!

yesterdaee playedd maplee withh klicee and helenn.. helenn iishhx so damnn cutee lorr.. herr level so loww and yett shee wanna walkk infrontt.. LOLs.. thenn iin the endd.. thee ribbon piggiee knockk ontoo herr andd shee ~~DIED~~.. wahahahas~ but thatt iishhx a good signn as shee cann go to the nearestt townn withoutt moii bringinqqx.. we playedd till 3am thenn sleepp.. =X

tomorroww goinqqx tuhhx eatt seoulss gardenn withh thossee workinqqx withh moii..! wahahahas~ and alsoo norttx forgettinqqx moii darlinkk KLICEE!! tee hees~ ii realliee wonderr iif ii cann wakee up anorttx lorr.. coss.. ii am gonna maplee likee siaoo tonitee againss!!

2006-08-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

afterr yesterdaee's steamboattx.. ii lao saii andd hadd soree throatt.. =( butt.. moii darlinkk, klicee wass soo sweet canss..! earliee iin thee morninqqx shee smsedd moii andd askk moii howw wass ii andd did ii takee moii medicinee norttx.. tee hees~ thattx actually curedd moii sickness! wahahahas~

sleptt ferr thee wholee daee todaee.. wokee up at abouttx 7pm.. =P hadd a good chattx withh moii klicee darlinkk andd decidedd tuhhx makee chocolatee cuppy cakess.. xP iit tasttee goodd buttx jusstx thattx iit iishhx kindaa bitterr coss oof thee coco powderr.. >.< klicee madee moii JEALOUS likee siaoo canss..! hurmpfs~ shee dunn ~~loovee~~ moii lerr lorrs.. shee ratherr thattx SOMEONE elsee! *cries*

dearriee didntt pei moii talkk todaee.. haiisshxx.. ii miisshxx him loadds loadds.. dearr.. cann euu try and spendd moree timee withh moii..? ii wanna bee thee onliee gerr iin urr littlee heartt.. ii wan euu tuhhx be withh moii FOREVER toos~ will iitx be possiblee?

haiisshxx.. gottx tuhhx workk tomorroww.. =X soo tirinqqx.. now iishhx likee goinqqx tuhhx 3 am lerrs andd ii am still awakee..? how am ii surposee tuhhx stay awakkee till closinqqx tomorrow? =( but still.. ii will be lookinqqx forwardd tuhhx tomorrow as moii klicee darlinkk iishhx gonna comee andd brinqqx moii tuhhx workk! yayss! =)

KLICE BELONGS TUHX MEEE!!! =P

2006-08-23T23:58:00.000-07:00

school suxss siahhss.. kaoss.. todaee iisshx the lasttx daee of school and yettx thiss kindaa thinqqx happenn.. wadd thee farrkk larr.. arghs~ dunn wanna tokk aboutt iit lerr larr..! afterr school.. klicee peii moii go tuhhx suntecc thereee.. norttx onliee peii moii leiss.. shee evenn helpp moii carry moii plasticc baggiee.. wahahahas~ so sweettx of herrrr! loovee herr loadds loadds siahhs..! mwarrkiezz..

afterr worrkk wentt tuhhx marinaa southh there andd eatt steamboattx! =) yummieee.. enjoyedd moiiselff theree worss.. ii evenn drinkk beerr worrs.. =P ii am kindaa stress recently.. soo.. ii thinkk thee onliee way tuhx destress iishhx tuhhx drinkk ba.. =X whenn will all moii sadd sadd daess endd? haiisshxx.. wo yao kuaii le!! attx aboutt 12 pluss.. moii, klicee andd zhaoo lu took a cabbiee homeee.. bleahs~

afterr droppinqqx klicee.. tearrss justtx startt tuhhx flow downn moii cheekss.. ii am sadd oncee againss! whiee iishhx iit soo..? ii moiiselff dunn evenn know! =( ii realliee feel thattx ii dunn belonqqxx iin thiss worldd! did godd realliee putt moii herre tuhhx sufferrr..? =( *cries*

darrdarr hass beenn ignorinqqx moii toos.. whatt didd ii do thiss timee roundd..? *heartbrokenedd*! darr.. cann euu dunn treatt moii likee thiss..? rememberr wadd we promisee onee anotherr yesterrnightt..? no matterrr whatt euu will foreverr bee thee onee andd onliee onee iin moii heartt! ii will loovee euu fer who euu aree!! ii promisee~ nothinqqx gonna changee moii loovee ferr euu! babee.. we belonqqx togetherr! =)

2006-08-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

todaee iishxx suchaa borinqqx daee.. =( hadd nothinqqx tuhhx do.. jusst sitt at homee andd rott.. andd of coursee norrtx forgettinqqx tuhhx miisshxx moii dardarr.. =) attx aboutt 6 pluss ii wanttedd tuhhx makee cuppy cakess.. butt.. norrtx enoughh eggss.. hurhurs~ =( *cries* soo.. ii decidedd tuhhx go and mapleee... weets~ soo lonqqx didntt maplee lerr.. noww.. ii kindaa findd iitx borinqqx.. =X dunn tokk soo muchh lerr kayyess..? gorrttx tuhhx concentratee tokinqqx tuhhx dardarr lerr.. tee hees~

lookinqqx forwardd tuhxx tomorroww.. klicee iishhx gonna buy dinnerr ferr moii! wahahahas~ so sweettx of herr riteess? andd alsooo tuhhx ourr steamboatt!!! yayss~

2006-08-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

happily sleeppinqqx at homee againss.. =) bleahs~ moii bedd iishhx still thee bestt.. wahahahas~ jusstx noww.. helpp moii baobeii meimei do herr bloggiee coss shee wanna sell her stuffss onlinee.. afterr thattx gottx a big shockk sehh..

klicee toldd moii thattx ray wantedd tuhhx breakk up withh helenn.. kaoss.. whattx thee fuckk iishhx goinqqx oon sehh.. ii andd him iishhx impossiblee derr larr.. realliee canntx imaginee moii andd him lorrs.. =X haiisshxx.. how am ii surposee tuhhx facee helenn andd himm..? maybee iitx iishhx timee tuhhx resignn lerr bass.. klicee's compensationn hass beenn increasedd.. now iitx ishhx 102 kisshes from moii! tee hees~ gonna enjoy moiiselff lerrs.. x))

waitinqqx ferr dearriee's call.. realliee wonderr where iishhx hee.. =( ii am startinqqx tuhx miisshxx him lerrs.. haiisshxx..

2006-08-20T23:56:00.000-07:00

iits a tirinqqx daee ferr moii.. =( todaee's customerss comee andd go non stopp! arghss~ irritatinqqx.. andd jusstx becausee of thatt.. there ishh a littlee "conflictt" iin moii shopp.. haiisshxx.. whiee canntx everyonee justtx worrk happily? ii endd workk att 8 todaee.. waitedd ferr someeonee tuhhx come pickk moii up as ii was verry tiredd.. =P tee hees~

ii didntt likee thee way euu treatt moii todaee..! iit iishhx farr too muchh larr.. euu saidd thatt euu weree tryinqqx tuhhx cheer moii upp butt ferr all ii cann saee iishhxx thatt.. iitx didntt helpp at all! iit onliee worsenn ourr friendshipp! ii dunnwann any conpensationn from euu anymoree.. ii thinkk thatt thiss will be thee endd of ourr 6 monthss of friendshipp..! althoughh ii maybee sadd.. butt.. iif we were tuhhx continuee oon likee thiss iit will be worsee! moree hurttx andd hatredd ferr moii! haisshxx.. noww ii noee.. nothinqqx lasttx fereverrr! norttx evenn ~~friendshipp~~!

dearriee wass soo sweett todaee.. he triedd tuhhx call moii jusstx tuhhx askk howw wass ii feelinqqx.. =) butt ii wass busyy thattx wass whiee ii didntt noticee hiss call.. sowwiee dearr.. urr careee andd concernn iishhxx greatly appreciatedd! mwarrkiezz.. euu aree thee onliee onee iin moii heartt noww.. ii promisee~ hopefully ourr storyy will startt soonn.. will iitx be possiblee..?

2006-08-19T23:55:00.000-07:00

ii wokee up att aboutt 10 pluss todaee.. arghss~ gonna be latee ferr workk againss! =( hurhurs~ hurriedly do whateverr ii am surposee tuhhx do and rushh outt tuhhx thee roadsidee tuhhx hail a cabbiee.. iitx wass soo damnn lonqqx canss! andd thee weatherr wass soo damnn hott too! arghs! afterr waitinqqx ferr aboutt 20 mins, moii cabbiee finally arrivee! yayss~

Jiajia: Uncle.. Suntec pls..

Uncle: Girl.. why dont you take a bus? Do you know that your taxi fare will be very expensive?

Jiajia: Yups.. Its okaee.. =)

the unclee wass soo damnn nicee canss.. =) att abouttx 11.35, ii finally reachedd Suntec.. wenttx tuhhx gettx some soon kuehh andd headd tuhhx ourr shopp lerrs.. oncee ii openn the doorr.. ii saw ray sittinqqx there havinqqx hiss breakfirst.. =) ii offeredd himm moii cakess andd hee saidd iitx wass nicee andd wantedd tuhhx marry moii soo thattx hee cann eatt moii cuppy cakess foreverr.. LOLs.. thattx wass soo lamee larr.. =X

iits 3.15 andd moii darlinkk iishxx here! =) whenn ii saw herr ii wass soo happiee canss! bleahs! workedd withh herr till 6 thenn ii headd tuhhx churchh lerrs.. =( borinqqx~ afterr churchh.. klicee smsedd andd calledd moii.. shee toldd moii thattx shee donatedd moii cuppy cakess tuhhx the restt! =( haiisshxx.. ii madee iitx justt ferr euu andd thiss iishxx wadd ii gettx? *cries* now.. iin orderr ferr moii tuhhx tokk tuhhx herr againss.. shee gottx tuhhx be kisshedd by moii 34 timess! iif notxx...... tee hees~ thiss iishhx wadd euu gettx ferr norttx appreciatinqqx whateverr i havee donee ferr euu!!! =P

tomorroww ii am workinqqx againss! yayss~ gonna makee a fool of moiselff againss..! =)

2006-08-18T02:10:00.000-07:00

weeee~ ii didntt go school againnss! haiisshxx.. heardd thattx klicee iishhx kinda moody todaee.. ii feel likee forgivinqqx herr.. buttx.. the thinqqx iishxx thattx shee iishhx realliee too muchh lorrs.. =X ferr the whole of todaee.. ii havee beenn sleepinqqx.. finally gorttx a goodd sleep siahhss.. yayss~ =P

at abouttx 9 pluss 10, ii have decidedd tuhhx givee klicee a call! ii am willinqqx tuhhx forgivee herr lerrs! buttx.. there musttx be somee compensationn tuhhx be donee.. ii gave herr 3 choicess.. andd they aree:

makee ahh ray herr boyfriendd
17 kisshess fromm moii
kiisshx shutinqqx

afterr muchh considerationn, she choose the secondd onee.. wahahahas~ iits her ronqqx xinqqx tuhhx be kisshedd by moii leiss.. xP whilee talkinqqx tuhhx herr, ii was makinqqx gingerr breadd mann andd somee minii cuppy cakess! the gingerr breadd mann wass soo hardd canss.. =( *cries* butt.. moii minii cuppy cakess wass deleciouss..! so, ii have decidedd tuhhx brinqqx somee tuhhx moii workk placee tomorroww.. packedd two packets.. onee ferr sandy; helen; ray and whoeverr thatt iishhx there and the otherr packettx iishhx ferr klicee..! soo sweetx of moii ritee? bleahs~

ii am soo tiredd now.. ittx 2am! andd tomorrow ii gottx tuhhx workk..! arghss~ betterr gett somee sleep noww beforeee ii am lateee againsss!! =P

2006-08-17T23:55:00.000-07:00

todaee wass a tirinqqx daee.. afterr school moii, klicee andd zhaoo lu wenttx ferr a ce tripp! iit was simply crapp! a total wastee of moii timee!!! =X aftert that tripp, we decidedd tuhhx go plaza singapura.. =P iits shoppinqqx timeee.. weets~ afterr reachinqqx there, we walkk aroundd and wenttx tuhhx actionn cityy tuhhx gettx somethinqqx tuhhx hanqqx on our handphoneess.. afterr mucchh considerationns.. we havee decidedd tuhhx gettx a littlee whittee meow meow.. =) afterr gettinnqx.. we thenn proceedd tuhhx aunty anniee tuhhx findd ray.. he wass alonee there yesterdaee..

ii madee a fool of moiselff there! gosh~ ii spilledd somee strawberriee duchh icee on moii whitee shirttx!! cann euu imaginee howw embarrassinqqx iit wass? =( thenn klicee helpedd moii wipee iitx off.. thattx wass soo sweet ritee? wahahahas~ afterr wipinqqx.. ii discoveredd thatt moii meow meow dropp off.. haiisshxx.. thenn we decided tuhhx go andd exchangee onee! afterr we gotx a new onee, the same thinqqx happenedd againss! so, we wenttx backk ferr the secondd timee! thee peoplee workinqqx there iisshxx soo damnn fuckedd up larr.. arghss~ say untill likee ii purposelyy wanna breakk iit liddat.. kaoss.. customerr servicee suxss siahhss..! we playedd there till aboutt 9 pluss thenn we decidedd tuhhx go homee..

oncee we reachh the mrt stationn, ii hadd a quarell withh klice.. haiisshxx.. ii didnt expecttx euu tuhhx saee thosee thinqqx tuhhx moii.. do euu noee how hurrtx wass ii? ii regardd euu as moii besttx fwenn.. andd thiss iishx wadd ii gettx? haiisshxx.. maybee iitx justtx timee tuhhx endd all thiss sorrowws lerrr.. now.. euu go yourr way andd ii go moii way kayyess..? ii am happiee thattx ii havee metxx euu.. takarriess.. good luckk iin wadeverr euu do.. =X

i still see ur face in my dreams
it hurts and it doesn't help at all
i still want u in my lfe as crazy as that seems
i want u to catch me when i fall

i still remember the first time we met
there was something so different about u
ur friendship was something i wanted to get
that smile when u said hi to me was so new

out of no where you called me on the phone
i wanted to sit there and talk to u forever
u were so new, so crazy and unknown
i just knew that our friendship would never sever

two years and we are barely holding it together
what happened to the way this all used to be
i never wanted u out of my life ever
i sat there for a long time pretending not to see

we decided to go out and make it all all right
it didn't work out af course we knew it couldnt
we couldn't even really stand each others sight
it shouldn't end this way but it did and i shouldn't

i miss you and everything u were to me
ten years from now we will look back on it all
we will be older and finally be able to see
that love will stand the test of time and never fall

2006-08-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

didntt go school todaee as ii didntt havee thee moodd tuhhx do so.. =X ii thougttx of you ferr the wholee of yesterday nighttx! andd tearrs justt kepttx rollinqqx down moii cheeks! haiisshxx.. moii hearttx isshhxx beinqqx shatteredd intoo millionn piecess! todaee, ii havee decided tuhhx delete all yourr contactss! hopefully thiss cann helpp moii forgettx euu bas..! ii wishh euu all the besstx iin yourr nextt relationshipp andd alsoo iin whateverr euu do..!

i havee beenn lyinqqx on moii comfortablee bedd ferr the wholee daee.. till klicee smsed moii askinqqx iif ii am keen tuhhx go gaigai withh herr! yayss.. of coursee ii do! moii darlinkk jioo moii go gaigai seh.. of coursee musttx go larr.. LOLs.. ii met herr at abouttx 5 pluss at suntecc.. wenttx tuhhx ourr workk placee there and slackk awhilee thenn go careforee tuhhx gettx moii bakinqqx stuff! =) ii wanna makee gingerr breadd mann!!! yummieee~ afterr gettinqqx everythinqqx.. itts timee tuhhx returnn homee! =P

now.. ii am waitinqqx ferr moii dar tuhhx call moii.. iitss soo lonqqxx canss! =( ii hopee euu dunn duaa moii againn arr! bleahs! ii am listeninqqx tuhh moii memoryy now.. haiisshxx.. iit allows moii tuhhx thinkk aboutt moii and him derr memoriess.. =( HOW? whenn cann all thiss thinqqx comee tuhhx an endd? ii hadd ENOUGH lerrs..! perhaps.. timee iishhx justtx neededd tuhhx heal moii brokenn hearttx! haiisshxx..

2006-08-15T23:54:00.000-07:00

todaee iishhx realliee a sadd day.. firstly.. iishh thattx ii still cannorttx realliee gettx overr the pastt.. moii hearttx iishhx still bleadinqqx profusely.. haiisshxx.. no onee will everr understandd moii currenttx situationn derr.. iishhx likee ii have triedd moii besstx tuhhx loovee himm withh all moii hearttx.. andd yett he did thiss tuhhx moii! iisshx thiss FAIR? =(

the otherr thinqqx thattx madee moii sadd iishhx thattx.. klice's granny passedd away.. causinqqx herr tuhhx be sadd toos..! haiisshxx.. whenn ii see euu likee thiss, iit hurttx know..? gurl.. ii dunwanna see euu likee thiss.. euu gottx tuhhx be stronqqx alritess..? ii wann everyonee aroundd moii tuhhx be happiee! no matterr whattx happenss, ii will alwayss be by yourr sidee.. thats whattx friends are for right..? everyonee of us gottx tuhhx leavee thiss cruel worldd onee day! iif ii gottx a choicee, ii wouldd want tuhhx leavee iitx as soonn as possiblee! the hurrtx thatt ii am undergoinqqx now iishhx farr too muchh ferr moii tuhhx withholdd lerr..! =( ii realliee wonderr.. whenn will all thiss sadness endd?

dar.. ii realliee appreciatee urr caree andd concernn thiss few dayss..! ii am tryinqqx moii bestt tuhhx gettx overr iit as soon as possiblee lerr..! euu musttx also takarriess kayyess..? miisshxx euu loadds loadds.. ii am willinqqx tuhhx be withh euu! buttx.. pleasee givee moii somee timee tuhhx get overr thosee hurtfull stuffs firstt kayyess..?

baby.. ii loovee you!